Collaboration is a skill that requires maturity, humility, and want to. On paper, it seems obvious that we should all be working together. So why don’t we?

Personally, I think we don’t collaborate because we don’t relate. How can one be asked to set aside differences and co-labor if we don’t know which differences to set aside? In order to build a relationship, one must spend time with the other person. This time doesn’t have to be intense or groundbreaking. When developing any new relationship, the quantity of time seems to be more important than quality. As the relationship matures, that paradigm will shift. We all have friends that we don’t see very often but once we are together it’s like we never left.

When we are in a relationship with others the goals get bigger and broader. The goals set in a collaborative environment can only be accomplished with the others around you. This is where the fun begins. This is also where we need to circle back to the relationships. Many relationships get lost in collaboration. The reason being, some will take advantage of those relationships and become entitled in their approach to collaboration. Nurturing the relationships throughout any collaborative process ensures that future success is ahead. Fail to acknowledge the importance of humility and you will be jettisoned back to selfdom.

What is done by you will be enjoyed by you. What is done with others will be enjoyed with others.  This simple sentiment is the key to collaboration. As your Chief Encouragement Officer, I encourage you to Dream Big! Dream so big that you will fall flat on your face without the help of those you share a relationship with.

Happy New Year,

This month is always amazing and exhausting. In addition to the holidays, we have two daughters that have December birthdays. By the time Santa gets here I feel like an ATM machine buried in some smoke-filled casino.  A few years ago I made a conscious effort to try and fight back the Grinchy tendencies by reducing December commitments and focusing on what’s important.

Most recently, my oldest daughter Madison turned sixteen. Madison is the type of kid that makes you feel like a good parent. She is smart, beautiful, and grounded. So, what does a smart, beautiful, and grounded young woman want to do for her birthday? Go stargazing of course. At her behest, my wife, Madison, and her three best friends loaded up the RV and headed to Joshua tree.

Due to Covid restrictions, we were forced to stay at a private campground in 29 palms. This extremely remote location was nothing but sand and stars. The new moon laid the black sky bare for us to see. This particular day was the Geminid meteor shower which was gracing us with nearly 100 shooting stars an hour.  

There we were sitting with our lawn chairs leaned all the way back in the middle of the desert. We piled up blankets, crammed hand warmers in our pockets, and simply stared off into the great unknown. As the minutes passed, my mind began to move away from analytical and into observation. Stars seem to be falling on top of us and I simply felt small. Better said, I felt like a should feel.  

Often times, we think we are bigger than we are. We think if this goes right or if this goes wrong life is over. Yet, there I was with my wife, my oldest child, and her best friends realizing that I am small. I require help, I don’t control every outcome.

Getting small means to see yourself rightly. Nature always does that to me. I feel like I’m in control until I get into the ocean. I feel strong until I walk amongst trees that have survived the past 200 years. I feel noteworthy until I stare up into the sky. Anytime I stop thinking about myself, I become more creative and think bigger.

Your Chief Encouragement Officer hasn’t figured anything out. I’m on a journey just like you. My encouragement this week is simple. If you feel Big, Get Small. If you feel Small, Think Big.

Procrastination is one of the worst and hardest habits to shake. As a kid, procrastination was an easy way to escape homework for a few hours to make room for something far more fun. As we enter our teen years, delaying action was typically in the form of job applications, summer school or any mundane yet required activity. As an adult, these seemingly harmless synonyms can be replaced with one word- postponement.

Meaningless late 5^th grade homework assignments have turned into postponing your dreams. Grown-ups are great with manipulating language to make us feel better about our appetite for inaction. In October of every year we boldly proclaim, I’m going to wait until the new year to break or start a habit. What is that? We would never let our kids get away with this sort of self-destructive postponement.

Intentionally delaying a decision can be strategic but not acting on a decision once made creates anxiety and leads to low self-esteem.  We were made with a mind that gives us the opportunity to dream and decide what we want to be when we grow up. That same mind is powerful and understands the work associated with those dreams. Often times the raging debate going on in our head resembles the bloviating commentators on every major news network. The reality is that you have 2 or 3 things that you really want to accomplish. Not only do you want to do them, but you can do them. The only thing stopping you is the hard work and self-discipline required between here and there.

As you Chief Encouragement Officer, I would like you to remember who you are. You have accomplished much but there is more to be had. You have dreams and goals that are balled up in the desk of your mind. Reach in there and pull them out one by one. It’s been said that all good ideas devolve into hard work. This is true but the hard work between us and our dreams is what we were made for.

Did you ever notice that your to-do list is all about you? When is the last time you made a to-list that involved other people? It sounds strange but the discipline of writing down a list of ways you are going to bless somebody is quite refreshing. Even more exhilarating is to cross off the list as your week goes by. Here are a few ideas:

-Buy a cup of coffee for the person in line behind you

-Compliment a stranger

-Write down what you are grateful for

-Hold the door for somebody

-Leave a big tip

-Call someone you have been meaning to

-Say thank you

-Listen with all of your might

-Don’t have an agenda when meeting with somebody

-Turn your phone off when you are with people

-Give blood

-Drop off clothes at Goodwill

-Bring a friend dinner

-Have grace for those closest to you

-Be slow to anger while driving

-Count your blessings

-Smile

-Call your Mom

-Be nice

-Offer to pick up groceries for a neighbor

As you Chief Encouragement Officer, I want to offer you a bit of respite from yourself. Thinking about others is one thing, doing things for others is quite another. Let’s go out this week with a mission to make somebody else’s life better!