I don’t describe myself as being overly handy. Don’t get me wrong, over the years I have hung pictures, shelves, put cribs and toys together but the experience is not a pleasant one for anyone in my vicinity. I become notably cranky and short-fused.  Most recently, my wife and I were hanging a picture in the house and I felt my patience diminish almost immediately. I started off with, “Who moved my stud finder?” 

The common denominator in my frustration always leads to blaming other people for things that are clearly my problem. Why is that? After some reflection, I’ve landed on the fact that I don’t put things away. It’s kind of like picking up a bag of salt and vinegar chips on one end of the grocery store and realizing you better not on the other side. Full disclosure, I look for a shelf within 5 feet of me and place those chips amongst the produce.

My point in all of this is that I think many of us have simply been misplaced. We have been picked and used by bosses, politicians, and relationships and never been put back where we belong. This disruption has not been all bad, in fact, looking back it was quite good for us. However, we are left with a sense that we don’t provide value or usefulness any longer.

Today, we have an opportunity to stand up and move in a direction that has long been pursuing us. We spend the majority of our lives taking bad advice from people that have an agenda. This agenda includes encouraging you to continue cramming yourself into a round hole when those who love and appreciate you see you as much more than a square peg. Right now, you have an opportunity to stop blaming others for your misplacement and realize you have enabled those lazy shoppers over the years.  

Here’s how:

1- Stop blaming others 

2- Listen to those that don’t benefit from your decisions

3- Ask the question, if I could have one prayer answered what would it be?

Over the years, this thought process has been quite helpful. When we own our station, clear the noise, and identify what is important, our windy road becomes purposeful, enjoyable, and straight.

When you look back at your life can you identify a time where anxiety helped your situation? If you’re like me the answer is never. Anxiety is like the comfort food of the human condition. We know it doesn’t help us in the long run, but the high carb sentimental indulgence makes us feel better in the now. 

What if we collectively decided to put aside the gravy and actually pursue something in the short term that will benefit us down the road? I’m not immune to anxiety or worry. In fact, nobody is. These emotions come from a place of yearning for security, safety, and success. Years ago, it became obvious to me that being optimistic about the future costs the same as being negative. Being an optimist doesn’t mean you believe everything will work out perfectly it simply means that it will work out like it supposed to work out. I’m ok with that. I’m not in control of anything other than the way in which I respond to a perceived good or bad experience. That’s just it, we don’t really know what is best for us until years have passed and we can appreciate the fact that the greatest disappointments of our life were actually get out of jail free cards. 

I don’t pretend to have a crystal ball that predicts what’s next. From experience, I can tell you that there will be many good and bad things in our future. The good will be great and the bad times will make us feel like the good times are never coming back. As human beings, we are hard-wired to hold on to the negative thoughts from our past and transpose those insecurities to our future. I for one reject that notion and proclaim that the best is yet to come. 

Today is a new day. Today has never existed before. All the negativity that is suffocating you from last week is knocking at your door hoping to ruin another one of your precious days on this planet. Don’t let it. If you are reading this, take a deep breath and shout at the top of your lungs – you are not the boss of me! You are an independent, unique, one of kind human being that has been gifted with the intellect to reject self-doubt and failure. Today is your day to turn the ship back into the storm and declare that you are a force to be reckoned with. 

Skydiving is a hobby that I have never really understood. Excited men and women have driven out to remote locations for decades in hopes of jumping out of a plane. Personally, I find flying in 700,000 lb. aircraft at 500 miles an hour 35,000 feet above the earth exhilarating enough. That being said, jumping out of a perfectly good airplane requires a well-packed parachute.

If life is like flying in a jumbo jet at supersonic speed, then 2020 has been the equivalent of jumping out of that jet. The past 4 months have allowed me to see more clearly just how stretched we all have become. We do our best to balance work, family, friendships, hobbies, exercise, kids’ sports, and self-improvement like a high wire act. Our one foot in front of the other routine requires an amazing amount of tension to support the show we work so desperately to put on. If you listen close, you will notice the music has stopped and all that is left is the sound of glass shattering in the background.

I’m not trying to be dramatic, but have you considered that the life we had before COVID was not sustainable. The life we previously referred to as normal was actually insane. We absolutely need tension to keep moving forward but sometimes we need to appreciate the fact that things may not work out as we intended. Our margin for error had become so razor-thin that it was almost inevitable for our sandy foundations to wash away with the tide.

So here is the encouraging part. The parachutes in our lives represent the opportunities for us to safely land and maybe even have some fun on the way out of a terrifying change in altitude. Let’s be honest, we think we are smart, and we chart out a course for our lives that we think we can control and enjoy. Wisdom tells us to pack a parachute because the best parts of our life happen when the turbulence is so rough that we don’t fear jumping out of the plane we look forward to it.

In 1998, Stephen M. Pollan penned a bestseller titled Die Broke. Mr. Pollan interlaces several sound practices, but one really stuck out. Give what you have away while you are alive to enjoy watching others be blessed by your generosity. Why wait to give away what you have earned until after your gone. Where’s the fun in that? The reason this book was a bestseller is because it is so counterintuitive to our natural store up and hoard game plan.  

Houses, garages, storage units full of our stuff feels like winning in the moment. Why is that? My bookshelf is full of books that I have read. Occasionally, I will gaze at that shelf with pride like they are all little trophies. Why would I hold onto these little accomplishments instead of passing them on in an attempt to bring joy to someone else? Honestly, it’s most likely because I’m proud of the time I invested and occasionally will use these books as references. But maybe I’ve been thinking about these little trophies all wrong. I have already paid and benefited from them and now I have the opportunity to share something that has added value to my life with somebody else. 

The reason we accumulate is to establish the fact that we have made it. The secret voice in our head says, “that (fill in the blank) was wrong about me and didn’t see the raw potential that I had.” With chest puffed we secretly declare, look at me now. It’s amazing how much time we invest into proving others wrong. This chip on the shoulder mentality allows for you to acquire and accomplish but it will inevitably cost you everything. More specifically, everything of true value. 

One cannot acquire relationships. True bonds with our spouses, kids, loved ones, coworkers, and friends cannot be purchased. In fact, anything of eternal value can’t be bought. Yet, we spend our whole life generating income in hopes of securing something that can’t be obtained with the money we worked so hard to procure. 

This week, I encourage all of those reading to give something of value away to a person you care about. We must never take for granted our time together and we need to condition our selfish nature to look outward. Thinking of others is a habit and one that will change your life. 

Finally, it is my belief that the way in which we share what we have is the wisest investment of our time. The final result of a life led by giving will be a life that is honored, revered, and read about in trophies on bookshelves like mine. Remember, nobody has ever regretted being generous!

Today is June 15^th, 2020. There has never been another day quite like today in the history of the planet. Are you anxious or excited about what the day will bring? Most pessimists are plagued with the mindset that they have no choice in the outcome of their days, months, or years. This sky is falling ideology is a false narrative that handicaps our mind into a robotic manner in which we look for negative outcomes to prove our self-fulfilling prophecies. The truth is you do have a choice. The choice between how we decide what the day will be like is a very thin margin. One can either declare, I’m so anxious because I don’t know how this day will turn out or decide to say I’m so excited because I have no idea how this day will turn out. 

Words are important! The words we use and the way in which we use them have the opportunity to either build someone up or tear them down. Why would we use the finite time we have on this planet to spread anything other than seeds of encouragement? I think the simple answer is we don’t fully understand and appreciate the power of our words. 

Pause for a second… think of a recent time when someone’s words were essential to getting where you wanted to go. These words are like volunteers handing out Gatorade as you past mile 20 on your way to finishing the marathon. They give you that little bit of extra that you didn’t know you had left in the tank. It may have been from a coworker, a coach, or some passerby but the point is you remember it. You have that same opportunity today. 

Personally speaking, I love the phrase Good Morning. What is better than walking by a stranger and they optimistically look at you and say those basic but inspiring words. This phrase feels like it is reserved for Saturday morning walks or vacation strolls. Most likely because we are all so self-focused during the week that we don’t think to take a moment to share those encouraging words. To all those strangers that have passed by me and spoken that phrase, I say thank you. You’re right! It is a good morning, I’m breathing, the sun is shining, and I can’t wait to see how the day will turn out.

Nearly 80 days ago, our whole world turned upside down. Stay at home orders, fear of the unknown and so much more consumed the thoughts and minds of everyday people like myself. Part of holding things together is repetition and routine. These humdrum activities don’t get enough credit for us staying grounded by practicing the predictable. Prior to these unusual times, I would come home from work and drop my wallet, keys, and sunglasses in a bowl near the front door. This simple yet predictable act would limit the opportunity for me to unjustly blame my kids for moving my stuff the next morning. Prior to the bowl at the front door, I wore a chain connecting my wallet to my pants. Not only did I think it looked cool, but it also fixed the issue of losing my wallet. Now what? No chain, no regular trips, times, schedules going to or returning from anywhere?

Roughly 60 days ago, I told the family that I can’t find my wallet and to keep an eye out for it. No big deal, it will turn up and there is not much use for it right now anyway. My focus was really on leading my business, protecting my family, and being a good community member. However, as time marched on the find my stuff app was growing louder in the back of my head. Confident it would turn up, we looked through the office, the house, the garage, and bizarre locations that sort of made sense. Sometimes it feels like you spend half the day losing things and the last half looking for them. Six weeks with no wallet, my wife suggested we cancel credit cards, renew licenses, and mourn the loss of my poke rewards card. I had moved on; new credit cards were rolling in and a fresh wallet courtesy of Jeff Bezos was on its way. 

There I am in the home office, participating in my umpteenth zoom call and my wife walks in with a small plastic storage container filled with paper napkins. Puzzled, I watched her casually pull my wallet out of this random Tupperware. Unbelievable! The unit containing my wallet was on the top shelf in our pantry. How did it get there? We have no idea and we simply didn’t care. Instead of going down the dreary path of asking how and why we found ourselves simply celebrating the fact that it was there. 

We are in a time and space that simply doesn’t make sense. We all have watched this past week as a horrible crime was committed that precipitated massive unrest in many of the major cities across our country. This is a time where many of us are saying, we have lost it! Our nation, our families, our jobs, and our community will never come back from this! I’m here to tell you that we haven’t lost anything, we have simply misplaced our hope. The virus, the violence, the economy, international unrest, and everything else we can add to this list have created an environment that is both unnerving and impossible to predict. However, unlike our sacred routines, the world has never been predictable. 

As your Chief Encouragement Officer, I want to urge you to look back. Your own personal tragedy and triumph are a great indicator of the future. It may not have been pretty, but you are here.  Don’t dwell in the why but rejoice in the opportunity to promote goodness, kindness, and mercy. Your rocky path has made you tough and has given you the confidence and endurance to press towards the mark. Celebrate the fact that life has thrown punches but like Rocky, you continue to get off the mat. 

During this time of uncertainty and chaos, our hope must be in that which will endure. We need you to embrace the past all while remaining excited for the future. Alexander Pope penned the famous line, “hope springs eternal.” Without hope, we will lose it. With hope, we can strategize, empathize, and mobilize towards a future that will be greater than the past.

Most of us are working diligently in pursuit of someday not working at all. Ever since Social Security was introduced by FDR, we define the American dream as not having to do anything for anybody. We wrap up this sentiment in one word – retirement.  This dream is not inspiring, it simply sounds like relief. Human beings always seek comfort. When shopping for a new mattress, furniture, or sweatpants, we process the level of comfort the item is providing. We process and prioritize the question, is this more comfortable than that? 

C. S. Lewis wrote, if you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair. As your Chief Encouragement Officer, I’m working overtime to try and keep this letter light and fluffy. The hard part about encouraging someone is that it often involves saying hard things at the right times. That being said, this week we need to exchange light and fluffy for grit and perseverance. Let’s collectively admit that we have all been bamboozled into thinking that comfort is the destination we all want and deserve. 

If you look back at your life you will find that your personal growth has always come from discomfort. So why do we so passionately pursue ease and relaxation? In effect, we dedicate our lives for the opportunity to not be challenged, tested, or held accountable. Makes sense, growth hurts and we can’t measure our growth while we are growing. Only after the growth can we look back and appreciate how we are now better off than we were prior to the discomfort. 

So, here is my encouragement, you are growing! You are improving! You are going to be better than you were prior to the pandemic! How do I know you are growing? I know you are growing because I know you’re uncomfortable. Let’s cheer each other on this week by embracing the discomfort.