We are 10 months into a year that will forever change the nation, the world and your life. The next 10 months will be different. That’s just it, every day is different. We can’t hold onto things of the past and effectively move into the future. It would be like holding onto the bumpers of 2 cars slowing pulling the opposite direction. Here is my advice, let go of both bumpers and simply give yourself the opportunity to enjoy today.

Control is at the center of most of our stress. We are stressed about the outcome of the election. What if your candidate loses? What if this happens, what if that happens? What will the economy do? What will the world look like for my kids? All of these concerns are to not be taken lightly but they are to be held loosely. If you are honest with yourself, you will admit that the greatest things that have ever happened to you were outside of your control.

We often have great things happen to us that were unplanned and totally undeserved. Instead of continuing to walk and enjoy what we received we put that blessing into a chokehold by managing the fun right out it. STOP IT. Attempting to control the outcome of every situation is exhausting and counterproductive. Not only does it not work but it makes being around you miserable. Here are a few tips for intentionally releasing control:

-Admit that you are not any good at control once you have it.

-Write down all the good events in your life that came outside of your planning

-Be quick to be generous

-Ask someone you trust to remind you when you are beginning to micromanage

-Get over yourself

In order to get over yourself entirely, you must accurately see yourself. This tall task cannot be done on an island and requires a community of good friends. As your Chief Encouragement Officer, I challenge you to take inventory of your stress and see how much of it is related to control. You may want to ask yourself this tough question if 2020 hasn’t beaten the control freak out of me, what will?

Life is pretty simple. It becomes more complex as we age but for the most part, we just want to be happy. Happiness is a fickle emotion that is impossible to bottle up or buy. Disneyland has apparently cornered the market as the happiest place on earth. Unfortunately, this bastion of happiness has been closed down for 6 months. This makes me wonder where the second happiest place on earth has been all these years and why are they not touting their new number 1 status?

Happiness has been and always will be ruthlessly unpredictable and undeniably disloyal. Happiness is a puzzle and it is made up of several pieces. Here are a few:

– Be difficult to offend

– Discover a place of belonging (Big Piece)

– Find fulfillment regardless of the task

– Dedicate your life to helping others

– Understand your purpose (Biggest Piece)

These are a few of the corner pieces that are crucial for assembling the happiness puzzle. Most people want to skip the first four and discover their life calling listening to a podcast. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. The Declaration of Independence calls it a pursuit of happiness because that’s what it is – a pursuit.

As your Chief Encouragement Officer, I would urge you to survey your puzzle. What pieces are on the board but in the wrong place? What pieces are missing? At the end of the day, happiness and joy are knowing that your activity and production are what you do not who you are. Answering life’s great questions is always a pursuit.

Stay in the game because you will soon find out that you were born for such a time as this.

Recently, it dawned on me that the size medium was created for people that can’t make a decision. What size drink would you like with that? Hmmm… I don’t want a small because that is not going to be enough and I will never finish a large, so I will take a medium. This conversation goes on in our heads at places like Starbucks but I’m becoming increasingly aware that these non-committal decisions surface in much bigger areas of our lives.  

Forget fast food and shirt sizes. I’m talking about not seeing things clear enough to ask for and work for what we really want. Ordering a medium in life is the equivalent of chartering a boat, setting sail with the hopes of just landing somewhere different. Nothing precise, nowhere particular, just somewhere that is different from the longitude and latitude you currently inhabit.

This line of thinking excuses you from understanding that geography is not your issue. You are the issue. You have not yet set clear parameters on where you are, where you want to go and how you are going to get there.  For the last 6 months, I have written about how the journey takes you places you never intended. That still holds true. However, if you set sail to escape rather than to conquer than you have a whole different type of voyage ahead. One that typically involves more geography change and no real progression.

As your Chief Encouragement Officer, I implore you to let the winds of change fill your sails. Run to the bow of the ship and proudly proclaim… I’ll take a large!

It seems like yesterday, but it wasn’t. 12 years ago, Monarch was born from an experience that I wasn’t really pursuing. After college graduation, I worked at a landscape maintenance company for 9 years. It began with filing papers, later moving into sales, and eventually acting as the general manager for the company.  Truth is, I really wanted to buy that company and develop it into a regional leader. As it turns out, the company was not for sale and it led to my departure in July of 2008.

Starting a landscape consulting company in August of that same year would be the equivalent of opening up a gym in August of 2020. Times were tough, on top of that we had a 3-year-old, a 3-month-old, and a sizeable mortgage without the money to pay for it. Early on in the adventure, my wife and I shared a car because we couldn’t afford 2. We cut tv and any and all of the luxuries that had become so commonplace. The problem was that we couldn’t cut back any further and we needed things like new tires for the minivan. In this instance, both her parents and mine chipped in for a new set. That was one of the many blessings we so undeservingly received during this tenuous time.  

Like Apple, Monarch was started in a garage. I propped up a voting booth around my desk to hold back the kid’s toys on the other side. Often times, I would be in a full sweat typing emails all while hearing our guinea pigs make odd noises from the other side of the cardboard. To put it mildly, working out of the garage for the first 4 years was a character-building opportunity. Looking back, I realize that challenging times are fertile ground for the miraculous. It seems to me that only in desperation do we see things clearly. Trust me, my eyes were clear because I was highly aware of my personal and financial shortcomings. There were times that I was often unsure of how we were going to pay our bills and then out of nowhere new work would come in. It felt like farming, I was solely reliant on hard work, faith, and family.  

The road has not been easy. In fact, the things in our life that have been the most difficult tend to be the most rewarding. Fast-forward to today, we have 5 kids, Monarch has 11 team members and a beautiful office in Dana Point. As your Chief Encouragement Officer, I want to encourage you that my plan was not the right plan. It took a very painful and personal process to push me in a direction that has become a true place of purpose and enjoyment. Even though Apple continues to outperform Monarch, I’m extremely grateful for all of those that have helped me along the way. It takes a village to produce anything worthwhile and lasting.

Our 15th-month-old daughter recently walked over with a mask in hand grunting as to alarm me that I needed to have it on. It dawned on me that she sees the mask as an important part of my outfit. Like sunglasses, masks have become part of the uniform we carefully pick up before we leave the house.

Newton’s third law states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Wearing a mask makes it hard to read people face to face. We are forced to work overtime observing nuances in the eyes or body language in our everyday interactions. To Newton’s point, maybe these masks will make us better listeners. Maybe just maybe we will come out of this with superpowers that are able to detect even the slightest bit of pain in one another allowing us to become more supportive and sympathetic.

I believe we as a society are being pruned for the betterment of the next generation. Tree pruning is messy, dangerous, and sometimes expensive yet it is necessary to ensure the safety, beauty, and longevity of the tree being cut. As a nation, we have been fruitful for a long time but much of the fruit being produced today is sour and inedible. The only way to generate good-tasting produce for future generations is to cut back and cut out branches that were once deemed beneficial.

As your Chief Encouragement Officer, I’m asking all of us to consider the type and taste of the fruit you are bearing. Today’s note is not a political one it is a personal one. In order for us to mentally move beyond the troubles of today, we need to consider the opportunities of tomorrow. As the Greek proverb states, “Society grows great when old man plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.”